tedstrong.com in NYC

Things about Ted that maybe you'd like to know:

Ted likes milk chocolate. He thinks it is pure. Like pure heroine, or true, passionate, full love (which Ted believes in, yet has not actually yet found). Ted often makes reference to "milk chocolatey goodness".

Ted just returned from a, not successful, but not failed either, tour of New York City.

Juliette with Mathieu Amalric in Alice and Martin

At this point Ted will stop referring to himself in the first person. Or, he means, third person. ?

Anyway, it was Thursday. My parents (Ed, aged 66!, and Patti aged 59) were having lunch in S.F. that day and so we arranged for them to save me $40 cab fare by taking me to the airport.

American Airlines flight 16. What always happens to me on long flights happened this time too.

What I do is almost fall asleep, as soon as I do I jolt awake. I hit the girl next to me in the arm, I spill my Ginger Ale, I hit my shin against the metal on the seat in front of me, mainly, I look like a lunatic.

We land. JFK, Kennedy Airport. Cab to Midtown Manhattan, Randall's office.

Randall is my very dear, successful, tall, attractive, friend, who has recently passed the bar and moved from SF to NYC to work at a Big Time Law Firm.

Anyways, Randall has been saddled with a truckfull of serious law work to do day and night and late night -- while I'm in town! But what can you do?

So, Seth, comes by and we go and I get a NYC street pretzel. Mmmm, yum. Check mark one.

Then the subway to Randall's apartment to drop off my stuff. The New York Subway system can eat my dick for Sunday brunch. Oh, wait, that's a bit vulgar, eh? My Mom's probably going to read this. I should probably take that out. But my stance on free speech won't let me! Arggh!

Randall gave me his keys, but I don't know which is which, so I'm fiddling around at the door for a few minutes, when someone yells "Who the hell's out there!?" and I say, "It's Ted Strong, Randall's friend" and the door opens. Randall's roommate Jeff (who I know as he was also Randall's roommate in SF) opens the door, baseball bat in hand. That was a close one.

I also meet Randall's other roommate, Chris, a cool guy, but he's got a glass wall, so you can't turn on any lights in the apartment because it'll wake him up.

Next: a slice of pizza at Joe's in the Village. Ummmm, yum. Thin crust pizza in 49 states V. thin crust pizza in New York (see graph). You see, it's the water. New York has this great water they import from upstate. It makes the pretzels and pizza crust so good. The pizza in New York, well, the crust is strong and delicious.

Then Eric Stahl joins us. Stahl is a pal of mine from SF, in NYC for work -- and play (if you know EStahl, you know what I'm talkin' 'bout!!!). Anyway, bar, band "Skinny" girl, Hole-like band, not bad. Randall joins us late. Another bar. Randall and Seth leave us. Stahl and I hit Joe's for some more pizza then walk around for a half hour trying to find a new bar, but neither of us know NYC that well, so we find Joe's and get another slice of pizza.

Friday I sleep past noon. Then I met Randall and Leanne LiLi Lispi for lunch. Fun was had by all. Kenneth Cole: two shirts, pair of shoes. Meet up with Stahl. Virgin records, get my sister's Xmas gifts all covered. Plus David Holmes and Peggy Lee for me. Steer Stahl towards some delicious Kid Loco. Water, tea, Virgin Cafe. Dinner across from Joe's Pizza (must always remain close) at Trattoria Spaghettiorio (or something). Very good! Lasagna. Meet up with Matt Petersen, my old crony from LA has moved to New York with his delicious new wife. Bars. See Mike Ditka at bar. Pizza at Rays. Delicious. Back to Randall's. Shortly thereafter, my dear friend, Alexa arrives. Alexa is a radiant, young (22), nubile, fleshy, young girl with certain... features that are a wondrous sight to behold. Anyway, she and Randall and I yuck it up till late hours and that's Friday.

Saturday. Bleeker St. and SoHo with Randall. French fries in a cone. Genuine Belgian fries (not served by any Belgians however). Visit our friend Alexa at her apartment and meet her roommates. One being this very cute girl named Rachel. End of story.

I back up Randall's toilet. Fix with plunger. Do not discuss. Dinner with old SF pal Max Handelman and Randall's very cool sister, Carolyn (she used to work for Oliver Platt!). Dinner was very good, forget name of restaurant.

Crazy Russian bar. With only Russian people in it; and Russian singers. Some wildly, truly unbelievable Russian girls. Funny for a while, I start to get depressed for some reason (perhaps my anti-Red stance?). Meet up with another old SF pal, actor Matthew Morse Butler. --30--

Sunday. Lunch: Joe's pizza. Randall can't go to the play, has to work. In which case was going to go with Carolyn, Randall's sister. But, she hurt her back and is in great pain! No one else can go either. I go alone...

NEVER GO TO A MATINEE PLAY. It's all old people. Decrepit, coughing, oblivious, loud, old people. An old man who's hearing aid made this horrible piercing noise and the ushers had to keep coming over to tell him to turn it off. When they left he turns it back up! Old fat women behind me talking (NOT whispering) and jingle-jangling their jewelry, up and down up and down to the restroom or lobby. I was so upset. I almost walked out because I didn't want to be part of this tragedy; it was so wrong and unfair to our star Juliette Binoche. It's like eating a really good meal at a really fancy dinner -- but in Nazi Germany in 1944! You know? It's like I was standing for that kind of behavior!

So, what happened in the play? That's what happened. I did manage to admire the sets and lighting a great deal and Liev Schrieber was good and John Slattery was great and Juliette was, well, it's like asking a Christian how they feel about Jesus. She is the god of actresses, of women.

Unfortunately I was unable to make any real emotional, or spiritual, or vibrational contact with Mlle. Binoche. I was too busy dealing with the fucking children in the audience. 80-year-old children.

More Joe's Pizza. Pastries at a pastry place. Posters at a poster place.

To salvage my relationship with the ravishing, brilliant Mlle. Binoche I went to an 11 o'clock showing of her new film Chocolat. Great. Better than I even hoped. Important for Juliette because she's been doing so much downbeat stuff (I am not complaining). This film widens her range. She is red cheeked and wonderful in moments that bring to mind her blushing 12 years ago in The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Chocolat also stars Unbearable co-star Lena Olin). There is also a beautiful moment where Juliette laughs with Judi Dench and you laugh too, not because what they are laughing about is all that funny, but because you are swept up in what these two great actresses are playing. The great cast also includes Johnny Depp, Carrie-Anne Moss (The Matrix), John Wood (War Games), Victoire Thivisol, Alfred Molina (great), Hugh O'Conor, Peter Stormare (from Dancer in the Dark, Fargo and as Slippery Pete in the "Frogger" episode of Seinfeld) and Leslie Caron (who starred with Binoche in Damage in 1992).

Cold in NYC. Rained on Sat and Sun...

Monday. Awake, shower, dress, pastries, atm, pack, cab, airport. Flight not full. Lady next to me's light was out; she moved; and left two seats for me! Actually we had a good relationship. Her bottle of water rolled onto my seat when I came to sit down and I was like "uh is this yours?" and she was like "oh yes thank you" and then she dropped her head phones and I picked them up for her. Then we chatted briefly about the light not working. But it was chatting like we were both on the same wavelength, we didn't want to gab, but we didn't want to be cold either. You know? Anyway, the stewardess came by and checked with her about her special meal. I guessed it was a kosher meal, because they checked with another guy nearby with a yamaka (spelled so wrong) and I'm sure he had a kosher meal. The only other kinds are like vegetarian, kids meal and maybe something else. Anyway. She left. She was about 48. Nice looking, some gray hair, kind of motherly, but not in a completely non-sexual way. Not that I was at all thinking about sex with her.