PETA Propaganda Issue #16

Once upon a time there was a little Mexican-American boy named Tector. Tector liked milking cows and watching parades ride through town. When Tector turned 14 he realized he liked women. When Tector turned 16 he realized he liked them so much he had to no, no, no this story's going nowhere.

Once upon a time there was a little German lamb named Teresa. She was very happy to frolic in the German hills. One day Mr. Wertzinfg wanted lamb for dinner. Mr. Wertzinfg got his axe and sharpened it and sharpened it and sharpened it and sharpened it until it was quite sharp. Then he got close to Teresa and said, "hello, Teresa, darling. Oh Terry, there's some hay caught on your neck, come a little closer darling."

Teresa being a lamb had no idea what was Mr. Wertzinfg was talking about and continued to just stand there gnawing on a dirt clod. Mr. Wertzinfg stepped closer and down came the axe. It split into the lamb's neck. Blood was everywhere. My goodness, but it was a sight. The head of the goat was still connected to it's body. Mr. Wertzinfg grabbed the hanging head and pulled and pulled and pulled -- and finally he ripped it free from the rest of the body.

Covered in blood, Mr. Wertzinfg brought his daily kill into his hearth and home. His family applauded. They knew in a few hours time they'd fill their little German tummies with fresh delicious lamb. Break out the A-1!